You can stop looking! They are no longer available.

Do you remember Mr. Phipp's Pretzel Chips? I used to eat them at the beach on a blanket under my parents' huge umbrella. Not just a fond memory of childhood. Perhaps the greatest snack ever created. Flat disks made of just the outside part of the pretzel, coated with salt, they were crunchy and delicious and you could eat about 500 of them and still be amused. If you've had them, you know what I mean. Otherwise, kindly accept this pity I am sending you.

Walking down the grocery aisle today I wondered if they were still available, and a quick visit to HometownFavorites.com confirmed my worst fears. Mr. Phipp's Pretzel Chips are out of print. No more eating them. Ever. Beanie Weenies and Hot Pockets keep on chugging along, but we have to go the rest of our lives without the fantastical salty crunchiness of Mr. Phipp's magical creation? This is the definition of bogus. Very bogus indeed.

Fare thee well, Mr. Phipps. You shall be missed.

P.S. Chicago is pretty cool. I'll write something about it soon, probably. But please allow several days of private mourning for the Snack of my Youth.