Shades of...

In high school, I wrote a few dozen songs and recorded them onto two albums. Most of the songs were crap, but a few were pretty decent. They are still played on a regular basis in my mom's car. In college, I wrote a couple new tunes every year or so, and at least half of them are bearable. But in the years since school, songwriting has been a much more sporadic activity. Maybe I'd get in one a year, plus a 5-minute score written over a weekend for a movie.

I sat down last night and finished a song I had started four years ago and given up on. It's horrible, and hopefully won't ever see the light of day. The music is derivative and the lyrics could have been written by a seventh-grader. [I was going to put an example of a verse here, but it's just too embarrassing. Even on teh internets.]

I'm glad to have done this though. It's important to even attempt to keep up the song-writing chops, and hopefully this crap-tastic ditty will be just a stepping stone to a decent tune I have yet to write. But that might be bullshit.

In high school, the songs seemed to write themselves. There was teen angst and frustration behind them. Granted, the very first one was a ballad about a redneck who lived under the deck, but most of the others were written for whichever girl I pined for that month, and packed onto a self-recorded mixtape that contained my undying affections. These songs meant something and I still sing them with at least a little passion, trying to remember which lovely lady inspired them. But I just can't seem to hold onto that passion long enough to write a good one anymore.

A list of the last few tunes I've created:

• 2004 - an ode to the girl I used to pass every day on my way to work. We traveled in opposite directions but were destined never to cross paths again when my hours were switched from 9:30am to 10 o'clock. Still, every time I had an early meeting, there was hope...
  
• 2005 - a love song for my sister and her husband. Sort of a gross idea, even if it was their wedding song.
  
• 2006 - a warning to my friend not to get drunk and make mistakes.
• 2007 - making fun of my friend who doesn't realize his life is a musical.
  
• 2008 - last night's turd sandwich, about conquering your obstacles or some shit.

In conclusion, I might be dead inside.