Sometimes remakes are good

Back in August, when I first heard NBC was going to put American Gladiators back on the air, I was mostly indifferent. Sounded like the network was trying to capitalize on ironic 80's nostalgia with a show that would help get them through an impending writer's strike. Well, it worked. After seeing the first three episodes, I can confidently say this show is amazing. There are many reasons that lead me to this conclusion. Here are four of them...

• Water. Foam mats are so 1990. When a gladiator knocks a contender out during Joust, the loser falls into a pool. The maze of rings that is Hang Tough takes place over water. And in Assault, if the contender hits the target, the gladiator is flung backwards through the air into the water. This hasn't happened yet, but I eagerly await the moment with glee. The post-Joust interviews with female contenders are extremely entertaining when their makeup is fucked and they look like witches.

• Hulk Hogan. His interview skills are top notch. His intensity is top notch. His mustache is top notch. And if you take a shot every time he says "awesome" or "brother," you might die twice.

• The Eliminator. First they climb a wall, then they have to swim under a WALL OF FIRE. Other usual suspects are there: the cargo net, the balance beam, the hand-bike. But in an homage to MXC, contenders have to hold onto a big log that rolls down a slope. I like that part. The kicker is what they call the "Travelator." It's an inclined treadmill that gives everyone all kinds of trouble. Used to be at the start of the Eliminator, but now it's at the very end, and that's a world of difference. To make it a little easier, they even threw in a rope to grab for help. But it doesn't. The average contender spends at least a minute running up, grabbing the rope, falling back, then holding on for dear life as the treadmill pulls them down again. Somehow, this struggle becomes hilarious and I love it. The new Eliminator is something special.

• Wolf. All of the new gladiators are pretty great. Toa wears some sort of kilt/skirt and yells in gibberish, and I might want to marry Crush. Hellga also intrigues me. But no one compares to Wolf [seen above]. He's a combination of Ben Stiller's character in Dodgeball, the Predator, Teen Wolf, and Mola Ram from Temple of Doom. There were several moments last night when we thought he might actually reach into a contender's chest, rip out his heart and set it on fire, then be eaten by alligators. Oh, and he doesn't speak. He only howls.

This writer's strike has been very frustrating, particularly now that we have to endure a spring without 24. But American Gladiators is certainly helping to ease the pain. I've also heard there are other things to do besides watch television. I'll let you know when I figure one out.

Correction: In a promo video on NBC.com Wolf speaks. "I've fought men all my life. I've fought animals all my life. I'm the only real gladiator there is left on this Earth." This is acceptable.